#Most popular funny pages on facebook free#

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain. I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven’t pooped it out yet. If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don’t open it. Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell? “Yep, gravity still works!” They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably.

So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.Īlcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. I’m going to open a new Facebook account named ‘Anonymous’ so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!Ĭome over to the dark side…we’ve got candy.ĭon’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. I’d really post your name here every minute if Facebook keeps on asking me what’s on my mind. You spend all day staring at walls and getting poked by people you don’t know. I know what you’re doing right now… You’re reading on my wall, Right!įacebook is kind of like a prison. If you send me a friend request on Facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume you’re a transformer. The slogan will be: “Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls!Īdding you as my friend doesn’t mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list. I’m going to invent a new pill called Niagra that stops erections. I’m wondering why logging onto Facebook has become a part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do! Never challenge a guy to an arm-wrestling match who’s been single for more than 6 months.

#Most popular funny pages on facebook free#

In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan.ĭelete me, Poke me, Like me, Limit me … The choice is yours … Welcome to Facebook, where no one is really your friend. So when I see someone post something stupid I can like it, and it will say ‘Nobody Likes This’. I want to make my name on Facebook ‘Nobody’. Nerd flirting: I wish I could select all of your clothes and press delete. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. Worst transformer ever.Ī cookie a day keeps the sadness away. I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children!įirst rule of Sundays: If you can’t reach it from your couch, you don’t need it.